Its time to start blogging again. This is what relaxes and destresses me the most and lately i have been way up tight. I feel like my world is shaking all over again not that 8 was on very sturdy ground to begin with but now its really shaking just when i thought all was starting to look great with a future with a man my son adores and actually a good honest man. Things are looking up in some ways. He has a new great job that pays really well, we got engaged dec 3rd. But what if i dont feel like i am the woman for him? I love to cook beautiful meals full of vegies and all categories of food while he hates vegetables so much he wont even pick them out to eat something. I adore cooking, how am i to prepare a meal always vegetable free, and how am i to teach Malaki to love vegetables if his daddy makes such a big deal about them, its childish to me. Speaking to him about it makes him upset and then we end up on the outs with eachother and i hate it!! Then other days he comes home in such a sour mood, and all i want is to great him and have him happy to see me, i am happy to see him, i know he has worked so hard all day i get that, but all i ask that he smiles and lets go of the hard day. He holds on to so much. Too much. I do my best to make things easier for when he gets home. The last two weeks i have made the bed every day set out a towel for him to bathe and left him notes to let him know how i care for him. I did not do it today just because the day got away from me and it just seems like its not making a difference, not that i am giving up yet. I just feel that i may end up making him unhappy instead of happy and that breaks my heart so much.
