a feeling

I can feel it in my soul. My life is changing there is some thing amazing about to happen. I honestly can not say what it is I feel is to happen just some thing great. Its like when you  can smell some thing amazing as you walk pass a food place, you have no Idea what it is, yet you know it is going to taste amazing. except for this is my life we are talking about. I can feel a huge shift starting to take place to lead to something even better.
As of late it has felt like my life is on pause. I stay at home in my room with my son pretty much 24/7 yes there was the last time I came out of my room for a vacation to see my moms best friend ( my Aunt) and ended up in the hospital with my Baby. Thats when I felt like i was starting to wake up. My 4 1/2 month old baby boy had to have surgery but on top of that he had RSV and low Il ron making it so he had to have blood transfusions and also the surgery was slightly more risky than normal. He had Pyloric Stenosis. Pyloric stenosis is an uncommon condition affecting the opening between the stomach and small intestine in infants. More less lots of throwing up and no nutrition getting to where it deserves to. When talking to the doctors around here they made it sound like it was normal for a baby to throw up soo much and when seeing his lack in weight would just give him more and different things to eat. I had no idea that it was not normal to go through many sets of clothing a day for both him and my self plus not to mention the bedding and other things that ended up in the cross fire of puking baby. ( life seems pretty easy right now with him now not puking every time he eats or cries hard) I am so grateful for the doctors who found out what was up with my little man before it got worse. The doctor he saw said we were lucky we caught it, for she usually has this fixed by 6 weeks old and this can lead to SIDS. Tho he is cranky from a little tenderness from surgery and of course teething ( he already has two of his lower very front teeth) he is doing really well. He is my smiley baby who even tho has gone through alot still smiles and coos. He is my inspiration really.
Dad got a job in St. Goerge so now we are looking to move there ASAP. I am actually quite excited about this and tho I really do not look forward to getting a job and leaving my sweet baby at home with his grandma, I am really looking forward to a change. A chance to get back on my feet. Being a single mom means sadly I have chosen to miss out on some of my babies life. I pray I am their for most. It would break my heart if I missed his firsts. Like his first words or steps or any of that, but I chose this life. I felt it would be better than him forever seeing his mom unhappy. And deep down I know that this is not forever some day I will get my dream to be a stay at home mom. For now I get to get back on my two feet. One of the first things I plan on doing once i am able to afford it is to get a divorce. I went in to the court house here in Kanab and they sent me to a site on line that in return sends me back to the court house. Really I feel like they just do not want to be bothered by me at all. 
There is so much going on and honestly I have that feeling that I have had so many times before in my life , and it is yet to let me down, that some thing truly amazing is about to happen. This is a new chapter to my story and I can not wait to see what happens.