Quotes to live by!

The actual feeling of time growing near

There is a crib in the corner near my bed, a changing table against the wall and a rocking chair by the door. A few diapers is the drawer so tiny and cute and little boy clothes starting to be folded and placed where they go with a diaper bag stuffed with things I have been told deserve to go with me to the hospital. Is it getting that close already?! I am going to be a mom in 7 weeks. It's so unreal to me! Yes I feel him move yes my shape is no longer what I used to be proud of yet until the room I am staying in started to turn into a nursery it had not dawned on me how little time I have left! I am so excited.. Yet nervous too! Will I be a good mom? Yikes! This is all so new and don't let me even get started on the whole alien thought of delivery.... That just freaks me out!! I mean I know that hundreds of women have done it but for it being my first time I will admit it is a nerve racking thought. I am so blessed for this beautiful opportunity and so thrilled to meet my lil angel and hold him in my arms. Just admitting this is all so new and so bizarre to me.  

Some nights

Tonight is one of those nights I lay in bed longing for someone to just hold me. There have been many lonely nights even when my husband shared my bed it felt like something was missing. Tonight as I lay here I can not shake off the loneliness that lingers here. Most nights like this I just lay here and feel Malaki move and remember I will never be alone again for I will have him. Really I guess I have never been alone I have always had angels looking after me and fairies dancing about in my light just some nights even this knowledge does not find way to fill the absence that I feel. I find my self wondering if a smaller bed would assist, or perhaps that I was wrong to leave my husband at least I never had to ask for him to snuggle to me I usually was asking for him to let me be. I know tho that it was because my spirit knew deep within that he was not the one for me that there was some thing missing. I had always felt as if there was another spirit being out there calling for him and I was the " other girl" and I will admit fully that I had felt the call of some unknown spirit being calling for me. Who knows if that spirit being is even on this earth at this time for I have been blessed to meet a many kind beautiful spirits that relationships did not work with. Who knows of that spirit has already found me and just has not made it  known or does not know it himself. Or perhaps it is not meant to be in this life time but instead I get the joy of being with my beautiful Malaki and he will be the man I love the most ever in this life. And I know that how ever it turns out will be perfect. There is just some nights like this one that there will be a longing for cuddling and perhaps even a soft kiss.