Some nights

Tonight is one of those nights I lay in bed longing for someone to just hold me. There have been many lonely nights even when my husband shared my bed it felt like something was missing. Tonight as I lay here I can not shake off the loneliness that lingers here. Most nights like this I just lay here and feel Malaki move and remember I will never be alone again for I will have him. Really I guess I have never been alone I have always had angels looking after me and fairies dancing about in my light just some nights even this knowledge does not find way to fill the absence that I feel. I find my self wondering if a smaller bed would assist, or perhaps that I was wrong to leave my husband at least I never had to ask for him to snuggle to me I usually was asking for him to let me be. I know tho that it was because my spirit knew deep within that he was not the one for me that there was some thing missing. I had always felt as if there was another spirit being out there calling for him and I was the " other girl" and I will admit fully that I had felt the call of some unknown spirit being calling for me. Who knows if that spirit being is even on this earth at this time for I have been blessed to meet a many kind beautiful spirits that relationships did not work with. Who knows of that spirit has already found me and just has not made it  known or does not know it himself. Or perhaps it is not meant to be in this life time but instead I get the joy of being with my beautiful Malaki and he will be the man I love the most ever in this life. And I know that how ever it turns out will be perfect. There is just some nights like this one that there will be a longing for cuddling and perhaps even a soft kiss.