Disconnected

I feel so disconnected from the world. I miss my Impact family more than any thing. This probably all came on because there is a Monday night training comeing up that again I will be missing. Yet I know I am where I get to be. Malaki has been quite the unhappy boy the last 3 days so I know even if I lived closer I might not have been able to go since my baby gas been crying a lot and I don't go any where with out him. Plus I dunno if I could handle Wil acting like a proud daddy of Malaki when he has not contacted us in a month again I would not want to start any thing in such a peaceful place. I have moved on from him and am ready to take the steps to divorce him. And maybe I am just being selfish of my baby but I create that if wil is going to just pop in every once in a while in Malaki's life he just does not show up at all. Malaki deserves stability not randomness. 

Well back to feeling disconnected I also kinda feel like that from my own family I live with, it's the oddest feeling ever. Perhaps this is all just a part of the baby blues, I have finally stopped bleeding ( yes lots of info that may not be wanted by some but deal its my life and my blog) but I still after a month feel off. It's funny cause reading about the baby blues they say you can feel disconnected from your baby, but that's not it at all for me he is the only one I feel close to right now. I have reached out to a few yet I can't shake this feeling. I feel when I go in for my six week check up I will be asking the doctor if there is anything I can do ( other than the fish oil since its not covering it) to balance out my harmones again. I am using some tools from my trainings to see if they will assist abit as well.