No where to go.

sometimes I feel like such a fool. I left a home and a good job up north and came here feeling I could trust my husband to take care of me as I was pregnant That did not work out so well so I decided to trust a family member and now here I am wondering what I will do. I am so stressed out. I feel like I might go crazy. I did this all for my son and now I feel like I have failed him. I am doing my best, I know I could get a job but Just leaving my baby for an hour stresses me out to no end, I freak out! I dont mean to freak I just do. He is all I have in my life and to lose him I would lose every thing. I have no where to go I am being asked to put the home I am in on Craigslist and in assisting in selling it out from under my family. It Angers me so because I am watching my world fall apart all over again and this time it is different. This time there is some one that is my whole world that is part of it! And I am doing my best so stay sane but when I see every one else hiding in their rooms not wanting to face Reality and do something I think about going off on my own... but where am I going to go? I have no where this house is where I would go when I had no where!

For the most part those in my world right now are hiding some how may it be in a game, in watching tv, or literally shutting themselves in a bed room. They shut down and veg out and tho I want to hide some how too. It's not all that easy for me I have diapers to change, bottles to fill, a baby to love and care for. And wow is it a lonely world when every one else is hiding in their worlds.  I guess for me I am kinda hiding in Malakis world because an odd thing is when he falls asleep I can barely keep my eyes open. I sleep when he sleeps. I spend my life with My son blessed that his smiles are in my life. Come out from hiding world. I miss life.